Every Real Housewives of New York Character We Want to See on RHONY: Legacy

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Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos Courtesy of Getty Images

After a flailing and cursed 13th season, Bravo announced this spring that it would be taking the Real Housewives of New York in a new direction by splitting the series into two separate shows. Though somewhat confusing, what this ultimately means is that a totally new cast is being developed from scratch under the RHONY banner, and now all previous New York Housewives are free agents in contention for an untitled Legacy spin-off. And after a long wait, rumors are finally starting to bubble up about these two shows taking shape.

The pairing of Dorinda Medley and Jill Zarin on Ultimate Girls Trip gave us a taste of what a Legacy season could (and should) look like: former ’wives breaking the fourth wall to look back on their tenures, argue about who helped get who on the show, and make bold claims about who is to blame for the success and failure of RHONY. But which of those former Housewives and their assorted hangers-on will make the cut? After 13 seasons, there’s a wide pool of eclectic Manhattanites to choose from to build a show that both revisits and continues the RHONY glory days.

Here, we look back at characters big and small who have popped up on the Real Housewives of New York over the years who are so iconic that we deem them worthy of a grand return on Legacy.

Yes, technically season one-to-four ’wife Alex McCord and her hives are in Australia now trying to survive in this economy — but at the very least we deserve a guest appearance. Maybe the cast trip can be Down Under, or she can put her new psychology degree to work and do weekly teletherapy sessions with the cast?

She was the first one-season-wonder of RHONY, deemed a flop before we knew what a flop truly was. But let’s not forget what she brought to the table in season four, like the fight over stolen hangers or her urging Jill to remove a snake from her head in Morocco: “Well, ya know what, Jill, take it off ya head.”

Dorinda burst on the scene in the show’s seventh season as one of the strongest additions in franchise history and a walking catchphrase generator — but over time we started to see the cracks in the china, leading to her famously being put “on pause.” Though Ultimate Girls Trip showed us that her drunken rage is still as present as ever, we need the drama-generating black hole that is Blue Stone Manor back, so brace yourselves.

Can we get an update on Pop of Color? Does her husband still wear those hats? Has her lip healed from when Ramona threw a glass at it?

Attach a GoPro to the leg this time!

We’ve seen Luann through so many eras that she herself should count as at least five separate characters. From the countess wanting to be introduced to drivers as Mrs. De Lesseps to the drunken divorcée attacking a cop in Palm Beach, she never disappoints.

It’s always good to have somebody in the cast who’ll make you wonder if there should be a psychiatrist on set at all times. And if we say jelly beans three times while running in traffic … she will appear.

Mama Heather Holla Thomson deserved a grander return than she was given last year as a “Friend Of,” before she promptly jumped ship after seeing the state of things. Don your Yummie shapewear and get ready to watch her snatch that center apple!

How many good summers does she have left? Can’t we repair one of the bridges she burned with Bravo and get her back?

Tins seamlessly fit into the bizarre society world that these women like to think they inhabit while also bringing a younger Gossip Girl energy to the table — plus she put her deceased dog in the freezer! (RIP Bambi). With the coupon king thankfully left behind in Chicago, she’s ready for a return to the Big Apple (and its circus).

It’s not that the show can’t survive without Bethenny, but it can’t survive without a narrator or voice of reason who can translate these Upper East Side antics for the audience — and she’s certainly the best at that. Plus she has the gravitas to go head-to-head with even the most overinflated egos. Maybe it’s wishful thinking and she’d rather just keep making TikToks, but the B has come back before.

This is the biggest no-brainer in the world. The magical pairing of Sonja and a television camera has never disappointed us before, so of course she’ll be on Legacy. What is RHONY without Sonja losing a tooth trying to undress a man, inventing and performing her signature caburlesque, working on a line of never-to-be-released toaster ovens, and somehow drinking a full glass of red wine through a COVID mask? Nobody does it like Lady Morgan, and we need to get back inside that unsellable townhouse ASAP.

No one embodies the concept of “legacy” more than Jill Zarin, whose triumphant return on Ultimate Girls Trip showed us everything we’ve been missing since her departure. She’s simultaneously the same Jill we knew and a breath of fresh air — and best of all she’s a connector who can make any cast feel cohesive. Fans have been patient while Bravo snubbed our favorite Kodak ambassador season after season, but if she’s not in the Legacy cast, we’re storming Bravo HQ.

Throw covers on all the white furniture to protect them from her spray tan, and let’s hear all about Barb the Builder’s run for mayor.

The show’s first “Friend Of” might not have made an impact, but wouldn’t it be fun to watch the other women try to place her?

There’s something so entertaining about one of Ramona’s closest friends joining the show and promptly getting completely iced out by her because Ramona doesn’t want her on her show.

Harry Dubin collects (sleeps with) Real Housewives of New York like they’re infinity stones and he’s the Thanos of the Upper East Side.

Yes, Dorinda thankfully isn’t dating this sleazeball and his perpetually dilated pupils anymore, but don’t the ladies still need laundry done? And best of all, from someone who will yell at them?

We all remember Tom as Luann’s short-lived second husband, but he’d been in the mix for years — having not only dated both Ramona and Sonja before Lu, but even appearing in the very first season hitting on Ramona at a bar. 

Sonja’s simultaneous love interests count as one character because I only want to see them if she’s juggling both of them like a ’90s sitcom teen with two prom dates.

If Luann’s French ex-boyfriend is unavailable, I will settle for Pepé Le Pew.

Would Red Scarf Guy, a.k.a. the man the women were all vying for at speed dating, have become such an icon had it not been for his signature accessory? Maybe Kristen Taekman was onto something with Pop of Color …

The moon landing. The M*A*S*H finale. Luann cheating on Jacques with a pirate in St. Barths and then admitting it in French because she didn’t realize production could translate. These are historic television moments.

Simon exemplified what would soon become a franchise-wide trope: the overinvolved husband. His mere presence was like nails on a chalkboard to the other women, but it’s time for him to break out the red leather pants once more.

Carole’s younger love interest gave us so much, like the Carole-versus-Luann feud after she “stole” Adam from Lu’s niece, and the subsequent apology text: “Sorry I called you a pedophile, hope you’ll come to my next holiday party.”

At the very least I’d like an encore performance of “Effortless.”

Joni and her eyebrows were a staple in early seasons, but one day she was simply gone. What happened to Joni? According to Ramona, they lost touch after Joni’s divorce, which apparently cost her that coveted spot among Ramona’s 50 close girlfriends.

Let’s not forget Tom’s ex, who Ramona hilariously insisted on inviting to every cast event that Lu was going to be at.

The Sex and the City writer has always felt adjacent to the show, notably being the person Dorinda said “I’ll tell you how I’m doing — not well, bitch!” to (plus it’s rumored that Dorinda was the inspiration behind Susan Sharon). Since RHONY is essentially Sex and the City with all Samanthas, why not throw the real-life Carrie in there?

Brad was a true trailblazer, paving the way for gay men and Real Housewives everywhere to team up.

You’d be forgiven if you forgot about this fever dream of an attempted “Friend Of” who vanished as quickly as she appeared in season six — but not until she famously threatened to “deck” Heather Thomson.

According to Kelly Bensimon on Scary Island (questionable source), Bethenny attacked her friend Gwyneth. “Gwyneth who?” “Paltrow.” But on an episode of WWHL, the Glee star herself essentially denied that she was ever attacked by Bethenny or that she’s friends with Kelly Bensimon in the first place — let’s hash out this discrepancy on-camera.

All it took was a single shot of this random restaurant patron reacting to Leah throwing a ravioli and he was an instant icon.

Part of the reason New York has so many random side characters is because the cast will welcome them with open arms if they make a fellow Housewife look bad, like when Ramona gossiped with Luann’s belligerent ex Rey about their trip to Ibiza, before Dorinda’s boyfriend, John, threw them both out of the party.

Remember when New York’s legally blind governor made a cameo and Ramona argued with him about whose eyesight was worse?

If you follow Jill Zarin’s daughter on TikTok, you’re caught up on her fascinating paternity saga. Essentially, after finding out that her parents used a sperm donor to have her, she tracked down her biological siblings and the donor — only to later find out there had been a mix-up at the sperm bank and her donor was someone else completely. Get me Andy and a camera; this is juicy!

The fact that Dorinda Medley has a sister named Melinda Medley and we don’t collectively talk about it every single day is insane. I need her, and the Santa costume that Dorinda makes her wear for Christmas parties, back on my screen immediately.

We saw a tween Avery shudder at her mother constantly embarrassing her, but that was before Ramona started shitting herself on every cast trip — so just imagine how good Avery’s reactions would be now.

Tennessee Williams wishes he could deliver what Tinsley’s mother gives us.

“I’m a big fan of lace.” Six words that are burned into my brain, uttered by Luann’s sister as she lounged in a chair with a glass of Champagne while Lu tried on wedding dresses. She charmed me then and there, and it was a thrill to see her again at Lu’s cabaret show grooving in her seat, but I need more.

In the midst of the crazy, it was always a joy to have the sage advice and wise words of Gloria. “When I turn around, it’s Passover, and when I turn around, it’s Yom Kippur, and then I turn around and it’s Passover. I have no idea what the months are” — me ever since RHONY has been off the air.

A wedding-dress-clad Tinsley (she wasn’t engaged, just browsing) and Dale sobbing together looking at mere photos of her frozen eggs over FaceTime is a core memory for so many.

Nobody personifies the thematic loneliness of Bethenny Frankel more than her driver, Kevin. Whereas the rest of the cast’s confidantes and sounding boards are their children, spouses, or friends — for years Bethenny’s was Kevin, who she’d chat with en route to hellish cast party after hellish cast party.

Out of all of the unpaid interns bouncing in and out of Sonja’s townhouse, none rank above Pickles, whose duties included greeting guests while Sonja is mid-walk of shame.

Martin answered the age-old question: What if Mickey Rourke was on Sex and the City?

Can’t one of the ladies take a lesson from the instructor who taught Luann’s son how to break-dance? I just know Heather Thomson would pop and lock.

Dorinda’s Realtor stole hearts the moment she sauntered into frame with an all-tan getup and her golden hair piled upon her head. And for as much as the audience loves her, she loves the audience — and has been openly campaigning for an apple for years via her active social media.

Is it really Christmas without Bethenny and Dorinda arguing about how many thank-yous are required for a six-foot-tall decorative nutcracker?

They’re surely still scattered up and down the FDR Drive after Sonja’s windy dog funeral.

We all remember where we were when Dorinda introduced us to her late husband, Richard, in the form of a cell-phone video of a hovering red balloon in Blue Stone Manor. “Hi, Richard,” she said to the balloon as she filmed.

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